


It's Not Easy

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Muppet Show, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Divas - Freeform, Gen, Humor, M/M, SHIELD Public Relations, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the sake of PR, the Avengers make an appearance on The Muppet Show. For the prompt: "MCU/The Muppets, any, it's not easy being green" for Cracky Crossovers day at comment-fic on livejournal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Easy

MEMORANDUM

TO: SHIELD Public Relations Department  
FROM: Agent Jasper Sitwell  
SUBJECT: Post-mission cleanup: Avengers' appearance on the Muppet Show

I wanted to make sure that PR is aware of the following occurrences at the Avengers' recent appearance as guests on The Muppet Show.

-While Tony Stark and Miss Piggy's argument over who was the true star of the show was indeed real (Stark has the bruises to prove it), viewers appeared to believe that it was staged for their amusement.

-Thor and Fozzie did not miss their segment for security reasons but instead were too busy getting drunk on mead in the storage locker and discussing the differences between Asgardian and bear pornography. We suggest positing an alternative explanation to preserve the reputations of both Thor and Mr. Bear.

-Animal hugged Agent Romanov for a skit, but then refused to let go when the skit was over. Agent Romanov then decided to adopt Animal and threatened to stab anyone who tried to take him away. The producers of The Muppet Show and SHIELD are both very concerned about this turn of events. It will not lead to good things.

-Hawkeye caught Rowlf sneaking out of the building and recognized him as the infamous enemy dog-spy Ludwig von Growl, with some plastic surgery to alter his appearance of course. Growl tried to run when he recognized Hawkeye from a previous mission when they were at odds, but Hawkeye, after concluding that his cover as one of the Muppets is actually an attempt to reform his old ways, convinced Growl -- now Rowlf -- to join SHIELD as a consultant. For those of you who are counting, this makes 17 enemy spies that Barton has recruited to SHIELD. Agent Hill's improbable speculation that Barton has some sort of magical sexual powers that works on villains aside, such a record is to be commended.

-SHIELD's plan to convince the public that Loki no longer poses a major threat to Earth encountered a minor setback when Beaker kept following Loki around. Dr. Bunsen claimed that it was an innocent crush, but Loki yelled, on live television, "If you don't get that mop-headed nitwit away from me, I'm going to turn him into a bath brush!" We approached the Muppets' writers about the possibility of claiming that this was a scripted sketch in which Loki was poking fun at his own villainous image, but the writers balked at taking the blame for this outburst. Other ideas are very welcome.

-Captain Rogers' segment on the show with Gonzo went very well, and they appeared to have developed a friendship. Gonzo is requesting Visitor Status security clearance for Rogers' quarters. We think this would be an excellent chance at a photo op. 

-The Hulk and Kermit sang a very nice duet together, and the Hulk was calm throughout, lending credence to the suggestion that the Hulk might more often be utilized in publicity events. This notion was disabused, however, when Hulk heard the following exchange:

Statler: Maybe the Hulk isn't a mindless killer.  
Waldorf: Tell that to my eardrums.  
Statler: You should be nicer to him. You look like you could be related.  
Waldorf: Yeah, well, you look like you could be related to Captain America.  
Statler: Really?  
Waldorf: Yeah, you look like the grandfather of a man born a hundred years ago.  
Statler: Hmpf. Hey, what if the Hulk kills everyone here and there's never a Muppet Show again?  
Waldorf: Oh, please. When have we ever been that lucky?

Fortunately, there were no serious injuries; Muppets are easily repairable. Nevertheless, in the future, we strongly recommend running it by a Level 6 Agent or above when deciding which Avengers are appropriate participants in public relations events.


End file.
